Doctors. You love them and you hate them but most of the time they just don’t understand. They don’t understand how hard it must be to be in chronic pain and to deal with that every day, they don’t understand that when you’ve been in so much pain and so sick for so long any diagnosis is a good diagnosis. They don’t understand that when you’re in pain every single day and you don’t know why, getting a diagnosis can be life changing in a good way. So when they tell you that your test results are negative with a big smile on their face you nod and say that’s great but on the inside you’re crying and screaming just wishing that they were positive and that you had some answers because when you have answers, you can start a treatment plan and find what works and what doesn’t. When you go to a new doctor and you have to tell them your medical history and you tell them how much pain you’re in they just don’t understand what that means, they ummm and ahhh and write things down.
I had my gynaecology appointment yesterday and she was good as far as specialists go but I still felt like I wasn’t being heard. She told me that I have chronic pain and that she thinks all my pain in my abdomen is from my nerves. She thinks that she isn’t going to find any endometriosis when I can get in and get a laparoscopy which will be in 6 months to a year because the public waiting list is so long. Privately it will cost around $5,000 and because my body is complex I would have to stay in hospital a night to two after the procedure so there’s another one to two thousand. She’s put me on Lyrica which I REALLY don’t want to be on because I know how nasty it is, but I don’t really have a choice. I have to try that for 6 weeks (if I don’t get any horrible side effects and have to stop it sooner) and if that doesn’t work go back to her and talk about medically induced menopause. She’s going to put me on the wait list for surgery in the mean time. So for now I’m still stuck with pain and I probably won’t get any more answers for a year which doesn’t make me feel any better. I didn’t expect to go in there and come back with a cure, but I did expect her to take my level of pain more seriously and do more than put me on a medication which I told her I’m not very fond of and really don’t want to go on. Since I’m now taking Lyrica I can’t take the steroids my gastroenterologist wants me to go on because then I won’t know which is helping if I do start to feel better and be in less pain.
I just want some answers.