Chronic health condition, Family, Mother and daughter, Uncategorized

A Letter To My Mumma Bear

 

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Dear Mum,

You are the most amazing person and mother I will ever meet. You inspire me to be a better person every day and to keep going, you are my rock for staying here and I yours. Your strength amazes me. You’ve been through so much in your life and the fact that you are still alive, especially after Chase is astonishing. 
Teachers at school used to ask us who our role model was or who’s a person that we look up to and my answer to those questions every time was you, and it still is. You truly are my role model and if I end up half as good as you I will be happy. 

You are the most amazing mum even though you don’t think so sometimes. For the past 4 years I have definitely not made your life any easier between my stints in the psych ward and all my heath issues you have stuck by me and given me the power to keep going. If I didn’t have you in my life I would be lost and most likely dead. You are my everything and I am so thankful that you haven’t given up on yourself, me and us. Thank you for loving me like you do and being not only my mum but my best friend and sister. I honestly couldn’t ask for a better mum, best friend and sister. You are my family. Me and you, just us two remember.

Here are a few words I would use to describe you:
Kind
Compassionate
Loyal 
Trustworthy 
Generous 
Loving
Funny
Strong
A survivor 
Spiritual 
Courageous 
Considerate 
Empathetic 
Sympathetic 
Intuitive 
Passionate 
Reliable 
Witty
Amazing
Angelic 
A role model 
Beautiful 
Brilliant 
Inspiring 
And there’s more but my brain isn’t working and I’ve gone a bit blank… sorry about that! 

You really are all those things I mentioned above, you’re pretty freaking amazing.
I’m sorry your life has been so hard and you have never really had a break from all your stresses, but the fact that you’re still living after everything you’ve been through really does amaze me. If I was you I would’ve died a loooong time ago.

Thank you for keeping me safe from Rohan and Michael. I know that you feel as though you could have done more about Michael sometimes but the truth is, is that you couldn’t! You did everything you could to prevent Michael from becoming worse and making Chase and Dusty suffer more also. I do not and never will resent you or blame you for what Michael’s done. You stood up for me and helped me get though the abuse the Michael did caused and you were always there for me, I’m just so sorry that you had to go through that for so long and suffer the way you did. It broke my heart to see you so depressed and sad while with him. I wish that I could’ve done more to help. 

I’m so so sorry that you lost Chase, I can’t even begin to imagine how that must feel. I’m so sorry you lost your soul mate and twin flame. So many times I wish I could trade places with Chase so you would have him back and live a life with him. I just hope I’ve been a helpful support to you and helped you through your grief a little bit. As much as the thought of you dying kills me, I’m looking forward to you finally being free and being able to be with Chase again forever. It must be so hard to have to stay here for me and Dusty when you just want to be with Chase and that is totally understandable, if I was you I’d feel the same. 

You and I have been through so much between your health conditions, my health conditions, Chase, Michael and everything else in-between you have stayed strong and kept going. I will always love you with all that I am and I will always be there for you. It’s going to be a sad and hard day for me when I move out and we won’t see each other everyday.

All I really want to say is thank you and I love you. Just thank you so much for everything that you’ve done. You are the most amazing and inspiring woman I will ever meet and you truly do inspire me everyday to be a better person and to keep going. 

I love you so much Mum and I will always fist you and tips you (this is a private joke and in no way entails what it sounds like 😉 )

Keep going Mum, I know you can do this and I will always be there beside you to help you and push you to keep going. 

All the love in the entire solar system and more,
your daughter Maddy. xoxo 

 

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One thought on “A Letter To My Mumma Bear

  1. Pingback: The Real Life Gilmore Girls | Depresssed Mess With Anxiety and Grief

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