Everyone says grief is normal, but unless those people telling you it’s normal have been through grief, they don’t know how not normal it feels! Grief is not something you can put a time limit on. It takes time; sometimes lots of time.
Two years ago my five-year old brother died from a brain tumor, it has been two years but it feels like it happened yesterday, ten years ago or not at all! When you’re grieving it seems like there is no way to measure time. Time just doesn’t seem to exist… I have heard from many people that the first year is the hardest after losing someone who is close to you, I call that bull***t. It is as hard for me today as it was two years ago.
Grief is one of those emotions that you can not explain; there are absolutely no words to describe how it actually feels to grieve the loss of a loved one.
Psychologists say that there are seven stages to the grief cycle, they are: shock/disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression and acceptance. I can tell you now that I still go through all of those stages every day.
It is so important to have friends and family surrounding you when you’re grieving. But you really want those friends and family members to be understanding and not judging. There is nothing worse than feeling rushed when you are going through the grieving process. I had supportive friends for around the first six months to a year but as soon as it hit the year mark of my brothers death, they literally said that I need to be happier and get on with my life! Like wtf?! What a stupid and incredibly insensitive thing to say…
No one understands how it feels to lose a brother unless they’ve lost their own brother. I miss him every day, he was the closest person to me except for my mum.
Keep strong guys, and I’ll keep strong too.